Robbing the Cradle
by Failure Turtle
Summary: When Vickie Guerrero hires a new member of Team Guerrero, everything seems fine and dandy...That is until her new friend reveals her true motives for joining forces with the General Manager of SmackDown. EdgexOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm Edge-ing again. Be afraid. Be **_**very**_** afraid. Actually, apparently it's cool when I Edge it up, so maybe this will work.**

**This is a request-slash-birthday present for Kaitlyn aka Doulykhamsandwich. Yes, she is the one that I rant and rave about that story with. Again, this is what happens when people request things from me. If you would like one as well, don't be afraid to ask. I'm not some bitch like everyone thinks. I will rarely turn a fic down.**

**This is in kayfabe (yay for Spiffy!) so real life is nonexistent. Word.**

The loud, rhythmic drums and guitar riffs…

The single pyrotechnics concussion…

The smoke rising from the stage, covering the entrance…

_On this day…I see clearly…_

The first figure seen is quite a sight to see hidden behind the smoke screen. As it clears, a tall man appears, pushing a very angry looking lady in a wheelchair. Her neck is bound with a neck brace. Not far behind those two are two more men who oddly look alike, even though they aren't brothers. They are wearing matching wrestling pants that don't even have their own names on them.

_Everything has come to life…_

The girls and children start booing.

The men start cheering.

The cheering outweighs the booing.

_A bitter place…And a broken dream…And we'll leave it all behind_

The next person to step out of the smoke screen seems to be the main attraction. The World Heavyweight Championship belt is slung casually over his right shoulder, and he has a microphone in his left hand.

_On this day…It's so real to me…Everything has come to life…_

Once everyone was in the ring, the five people stood in the ring, taking in the reaction from the crowd. The Edgeheads just stood there, admiring their leader. Teddy Long looked bored, and as if he wished he was elsewhere. Vickie Guerrero was staring at Edge with adoring eyes. Edge was the center of all attention, standing directly in the middle of the ring with Vickie in her wheelchair at his side.

_Another chance to chase a dream…Another chance to feel, chance to feel alive…_

The music cut, and the crowd was still mixed, with the cheers being louder than the boos and snarls. Edge turned around, giving a cocky look to the crowd. He was the shit, and he damn sure knew it.

"You people are in for a _very_ special treat tonight. You get to hear the love of my life, Vickie Guerrero, make a very important announcement. So all of you jerk faces better show her the respect she deserves. After all, she is the General Manager of SmackDown," Edge said, bending down on one knee to get to Vickie's height. "Go ahead, Vickiekins." He held the microphone up to her mouth and she grasped her hand around his.

"Thank you, Edgie pie. I have an announcement to make. There is a new member of Team Guerrero. Unfortunately, Chavo couldn't be here tonight, seeing as he is still sick from that hooligan, CM Punk, rudely tossing him into the Gulf of Mexico." The crowd cheered at that remark. Some of the fans may have liked Edge, but no one really liked Chavo Guerrero because they all adored CM Punk. "Teddy, this doesn't concern you. Could you please go and fix me some coffee for when I come back?"

With a slightly angry look on his face, Teddy simply nodded and said, "Of course, _Mrs_. Guerrero." As he turned around, Teddy smiled and sighed, relieved that he no longer had to push that hag around on her wheelchair while he was bossed around like a dog.

"Anyways, back to my announcement. The new member of Team Guerrero is not related to any of us, but she shares the same philosophy as the rest of the Guerrero family. I decided that we needed more woman power in Team Guerrero. I just simply cannot do this by myself, although my darling Edge is a great support system for me." Vickie leaned over to Edge and they nuzzled noses before she continued on with her announcement. "After many hours of searching, I believe that we have found the right woman for the job. She is our new WWE Diva that I signed just this morning. I want you to treat her with the same respect that you would show me." The crowd's boos got louder as they traveled throughout the arena, the crowd just wanting to be defiant and spiteful. "She may look familiar to you, but looks can be deceiving. I can honestly tell you that she has never been in the WWE before. So here she is!"

A tall redheaded woman came out through the curtain. She was wearing a tight fitting "Rated R-Superstar" tank top and destroyed light blue jeans with a studded belt around her waist. A collective murmur of "Lita?" was running throughout the crowd. Once she walked into the ring, she stood on the other side of Vickie's wheelchair, opposite of Edge. "Honey, why don't you introduce yourself," Vickie said, taking the microphone from her boyfriend and handed it to the mystery woman.

It was now that the crowd could see that she resembled Lita, but didn't look much like her. It was mostly the hair and clothes that caused them to believe that. "My name is Kaitlyn. No, I am not Lita, because I am _better_ than Lita ever was. She had to retire because she was afraid of the new competition that was coming in. I am dedicated to the service of Edge and Vickie. If anyone wants to get in their way, then they have to go through me. I may be a girl, but I'll kick anyone's ass on the roster."

Vickie called for the microphone back. "To prove it all to you people, Kaitlyn is going to prove it. I have a special match in order. Jamie, would you come down here, please?"

Jamie Noble's music hit, and he came down to the ring with an air of confidence. When he got in the ring, the Edgeheads rolled out. Jamie snatched the microphone from his boss. With his kind of southern accent, Jamie said, "Vickie, I knew you liked me. I'm so glad that you gave me this tune up match since I've been off lately."

Kaitlyn snatched the microphone back from him with an equal amount of rudeness that Jamie had used against her team leader. Imitating his voice in a cruel way, and oddly on target, Kaitlyn replied, "Well, look what we have here. It's Jamie! Jamie Noble!"

"Are you pickin' on me or something?"

"No, but I am going to pick you up and slam your ass down on the mat."

Vickie got the microphone back and said, "Referee, once I get out of this ring, call for the bell and start the match, please."

Edge stood up and shook Kaitlyn's hand. "Welcome to the family, Kaitlyn." He helped Vickie out of the ring and the bell rung.

Jamie wasn't afraid of beating up a girl…or at least trying to. He wanted to prove to Vickie that he could be an asset to the company. Besides, he just wanted Vickie to like him, but he didn't realize that she wouldn't like him if he beat her new team member. Jamie charged at Kaitlyn, but she reacted too quickly and gave him a rough hip toss. Jamie stood up and looked shocked that a girl just took him down. Kaitlyn drop kicked him in the face and retreated to the corner, bending down and grabbing the middle rope with one hand. When Jamie stood up, she gave him an Edge caliber Spear since she was on Team Guerrero, and everything wrestling wise in that team revolved around the leading man. Kaitlyn hooked Jamie's leg for the three count. The Edgeheads jumped in the ring celebrated with their new lady friend. Edge, however, stayed with Vickie on the outside of the ring so that she wouldn't have to waste time going back in the ring. Vickie slid her microphone under the ropes to Kaitlyn. She picked it up and said, "If anyone else wants to take me on, I'll gladly kick your ass, too. Take Jamie Noble as an example."

Michelle McCool's music played and she rushed down to help Jamie. When she found out that he was okay, she stood up and took the microphone out of Kaitlyn's hands. "That was really mean. You've been here one day and you're already acting like you own the damn place. You're no Trish Stratus."

Edge rushed over to where Justin Roberts was sitting and grabbed an extra microphone. "Hey, Michelle, get the hell out of here with your trailer trash boyfriend. You're way out of your league, darling. You can't even wrestle. Do you want to take Kaitlyn on? Because she'll willingly kick your ass for being so cheeky with her."

"Yes, I'd like to take her on next week."

"Then it's set. Better start planning her funeral, Jamie."

**A/N: Before I get more hate mail, I LOVE LITA. She is my favorite Diva of all time. I only had her say those things because it's in her character to be conceited.**

**Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh my god, I'm updating.**

**  
This is for Kaitlyn (obviously), who wishes that Edge would take her to God's land, also known as Canada. Edge, listen to the woman. She's definitely more fun than Vickie's old ass.**

Backstage, Kaitlyn was sitting in a room with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. Kaitlyn was standing up while the two men were lounging back on the couch. All three were doubled over with laughter. Once Kaitlyn caught her breath, she continued on with the conversation.

"Oh, Chuck, you are _so_ ridiculous," Kaitlyn said in a deep man-like voice, imitating what she thought Michelle McCool sounded like.

"Don't worry, Michelle. Jamie will save you!" Curt teased as they continued their laughter.

Kaitlyn wiped a stray tear from her eye as she then put on a fake southern accent. "Hi, I'm Jamie, Jamie Noble! I'm here to save you Mee-chelle! I'll save you from Ch-uh-ck. I'll take you on a date and we'll get some southern biscuits and gravy, if you know what I'm saying." Kaitlyn stopped her impression of Jamie Noble when she could no longer breathe. "I can't do it anymore, guys! It's too damn funny!"

"Wait, you have to do Chuck!" Curt demanded, but Zack took it upon himself to make fun of the motorcycle riding Superstar.

In a deep, scratchy voice, Zack said, "Oh, don't listen to that rat, Michelle. Hop on the back of my motorcycle and we'll get out of here."

Kaitlyn was once again able to breathe, so she continued on with Michelle's voice. "Oh, Chuck, stop it. You silly goose," she said, waving her hand carelessly at Zack. The Edge following trio continued on with their shenanigans until they were interrupted by a _very_ important person.

"Hey, guys, I have something important to talk to you three about," Edge said, walking into the room. He had his World Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder and was dressed to impress.

"What's up, boss?" Zack asked.

"I'm not going to be able to accompany Kaitlyn to her match against Michelle McCool tonight. She's bound to have Jamie Noble in her corner tonight. I don't like having the odds stacked against any one of our team members, so I want you two to go down to the ring with her," Edge explained, pointing to each one of the Edgeheads.

"Sure thing. But why aren't you going to be there?" Curt asked, scratching his long blonde hair.

"Vickie and I are going out for a night on the town," Edge said, straightening the collar of his black pinstriped dress shirt. He checked his watch and fixed his title belt on his shoulder. "Oh, I'm running late. Good luck, Kaitlyn, not that you need it. Boys, make sure to take good care of our girl." Edge smacked his gum while doing a little head bobble and left the room.

"Do you really even _need_ us to come out there with you?" Curt asked, putting his arm around Kaitlyn's shoulder.

"No, not really. But what Edge says, we do. After all, he's the boss," Kaitlyn grinned with an evil glint in her eyes.

Much later on, Jamie and Michelle were already in the ring. Jamie was holding a microphone, and he started talking. "Kaitlyn, I'm calling you out. Get out here right now!" he demanded. Michelle kept trying to take the microphone away from him, but he had a death grip on it.

Kaitlyn's new entrance theme played, an Alter Bridge version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and she walked down the aisle with and Edgehead on either side of her. All three slid under the bottom rope and entered the ring. Kaitlyn stepped up and stood face to face with Jamie Noble.

"Look, Kaitlyn, I--" Jamie started, but was cut off when he tried something stupid. While he was talking, he went to slap Kaitlyn across the face. However, she caught his hand just before it hit her face. Jamie looked shocked when he was caught by her quick reflexes. His eyes grew wide and Kaitlyn wrenched his hand with all of her strength. She refused to let go until Jamie cried. That feat did not take too long, as about ten seconds later, tears began to well in Jamie's eyes. Satisfied with the message she was sending to everyone, including the audience and the rest of the roster, she dropped Jamie's hand.

Kaitlyn started laughing hysterically with Curt and Zack. Michelle, however, went to tend to Jamie's hand. With his healthy hand, Jamie held the microphone up to his mouth and made Kaitlyn an offer she most certainly couldn't refuse. "Kaitlyn, I've had enough of you. If Michelle wins tonight, I get my rematch against you next week, and I'm going to beat you. If you win, then you can face whoever you want next week. Do we have a deal?"

Michelle started arguing with Jamie. She didn't like men making decisions for her, but she was more concerned with the state of Jamie's hand.

"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Noble," Kaitlyn agreed. All three men rolled out of the ring and the referee rang the bell to start the match.

Michelle took the offensive early on, shoving Kaitlyn into a corner. The referee was also keeping a keen eye on all three men on the outside. He damn well knew that every single one of them had a reputation for interfering in the matches of their affiliates, _especially_ Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder.

Somehow, Kaitlyn wasn't able to overcome Michelle in this match. Maybe she was having an off day. However, the Edgeheads had to make damn sure that Kaitlyn came out victorious. Since they knew that they would be ejected if they interfered in the match, they could freely mess with a huge distraction for Michelle McCool: Jamie Noble.

The two blondes ran around the ring on opposite sides until they were on either side of Jamie. They then did what any two respectable decoys would do, and that was to join hands and have a rousing game of Ring Around the Rosie with Jamie Noble in the middle of the circle.

Their mission had been a success. Michelle looked on with an extremely confused expression on her face. She wanted to run out and save Jamie from this strange prison, but she was unable to do so. Kaitlyn, in true Edge fashion, took the opportunity that she saw to roll up Michelle rather forcefully. Michelle was unable to kick out before the referee counted to three. Kaitlyn quickly rolled back out of the ring before Michelle could attempt to retaliate. The Edgeheads met her at the front of the ring, and Zack handed her a microphone.

"You know what, Jamie? I like to beat people up, so I think we're both going to win in this situation. I want to fight _you_ next week. You get your rematch and I get to beat you again! Doesn't that sound lovely?"

Jamie hopped in the ring with Michelle, clearly in distress. Half of him wanted to fight her again, but the other half thought she was going to pick Kelly Kelly or something. He didn't want to admit it, but…

He knew that Michelle was going to lose the match. In all honesty, he was surprised that she was going so well against SmackDown's newest Diva.

And just a quickly as the news about his next match was brought upon him, he hit the canvas. The crowd didn't like that. Edge had appeared out of the crowd and speared Jamie when he least expected it. Michelle was smarter than Jamie, so she got out of the ring and hid over by Coach and Michael Cole.

Vickie wheeled out next to her three team members, being pushed by Teddy Long. She smiled as she surveyed the chaos that was ensuing.

Edge ran his hands through his hair and licked his lips in excitement. He bent down low next to Jamie as a stagehand slid him a microphone. "Hey, Jamie, I bet you weren't expecting me, huh? Well, my night with Vickie ended early. She was concerned that you would try and hurt Kaitlyn. We can't have that, now can we?"

"Edge, honey, you are so right," Vickie agreed, taking Kaitlyn's microphone and speaking into it. "Jamie, I gave you so many chances, and you kept messing them up. I am so disappointed in you. As punishment, you will _not_ be facing Kaitlyn next week. You will team up with Michelle McCool in an _inter-gender_ match against Edge and Kaitlyn. You better pick up those scraps, Michelle," Vickie said, pointing to Jamie's unconscious body.

Edge gathered himself and left the ring as Michelle got into it to check on Jamie. The five members of Team Guerrero, and Teddy Long, walked, and rolled, back up the ramp, laughing all the way.

Clearly, with Kaitlyn, dominance would be theirs.

Right?

**A/N: Okay, so this was longer than I intended. But I don't think Kaitlyn will mind. Now if she will only stop looking up Edge and Hogan on photobucket…**

**Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: AVOID THE FLOYD! Okay, that was random. But I seriously cannot wait for this youtube video to be made. Especially with those funny pictures I found…**

"I need help…I need help…I need help…" Kaitlyn muttered over and over to herself as she paced alone in Vickie Guerrero's office. She and Edge were off doing who knows what, and she was left alone to wait for further orders from Edge.

"We can help you, Kaitlyn," Zack Ryder said as he and Curt Hawkins entered the room, overhearing Kaitlyn's little mini rant.

"Oh, uh…you guys can't really help me with this."

"Come on, Kaitlyn, you can trust us," Curt urged.

"No."

"Please?"

"It's impossible for you guys to help me."

"Why?"

"It's…um…" In need of a quick diversion, she said the only thing that she could come up with. "It's womanly problems."

"I think that's our cue to go…" Zack said, dragging his tag team partner out of the room with him.

"Whew," Kaitlyn sighed in relief after the two boys left. She gladly would have taken up on their kind offer to assist her on any other day, but this…she couldn't let them discover her.

She sat herself down on the couch and put her head in her hands. She was knocked out of her deep thinking trance when the door opened. Edge walked in, closely followed by Vickie Guerrero being pushed in her wheelchair by Teddy Long.

"Thank you, Teddy," Vickie kindly said, relieving Teddy of his wheelchair pushing duties. "I'll call you when we need you again."

"Your welcome, _Mrs_. Guerrero." Teddy gave Edge a curt nod before leaving.

"Where are Hawkins and Ryder? They were supposed to be here?" Edge asked, wondering about the disappearance of his look alike minions.

"They were here, but they left quick for a bit. I, uh…I think they went to get some food or something," Kaitlyn quickly explained, making up some fake excuse as to not get them in trouble with the boss.

"Hm, I should have them get me some cake. Anyways, are you ready for our match tonight?" Edge asked.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Well," Vickie said, "there's going to be a little stipulation tonight. I just thought of it and it's the most brilliant way to get Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool off your back."

"What is it, Vickiekins?" Edge asked.

"Well first…"

* * *

Kaitlyn was sent by Vickie Guerrero to look for Curt and Zack. Vickie had a mission for them to go on before the match. Kaitlyn found her two friends in catering, stuffing their faces with chocolate cake.

"Jerks! Give me some of that!" Kaitlyn demanded. She loved cake.

"You can't have any, Kaitlyn! You'll ruin your figure!" Curt said, stuffing his face with more cake.

Instead, Kaitlyn turned to Zack, who willingly gave her some of his cake. "Thanks, at least you're cool. Okay, Vickie sent me to find you. She wants you guys to do something."

"What's up?"

"She needs you guys to find Mark Henry and Big Daddy V."

The color in both the boys' faces drained. "Are we in trouble or something?" Zack asked. "Is this punishment for not being there earlier?"

"No, you losers. She needs you to find those guys and bring them to her. She has something planned for them tonight."

"Oh, okay," Curt sighed with relief.

"I'm guessing Edge is with her, so you should bring him some cake, too. He said he wanted some earlier," Kaitlyn said.

"Okay, let's go, dude," Zack said as he and Curt grabbed some more cake and went to find Mark Henry and Big Daddy V.

* * *

Michelle and Jamie were in the ring, ready for action. Edge's music came on, and all six members of the Team Guerrero headed out to the stage. All was well except…

Edge and Kaitlyn were not dressed in their wrestling attire. They were in street clothes.

"Are you guys forfeiting or something?" Jamie asked from the ring.

"Shut up, Noble. We're not forfeiting because we're not your opponents tonight. I ate too much cake, and I'm not feeling too fantastic right now. But don't worry. We've found you both more than suitable replacements to wrestle tonight. Here's the male competitor…" Edge said, pointing to the entrance behind him.

Mark Henry's music started and he joined the rest of Team Guerrero on the ramp.

"And for your female challenger…"

Big Daddy V, along with Matt Striker, joined the other seven Superstars. Now there were nine people compared to the two that was Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool.

"But he's not even a woman!" Michelle pleaded.

Edge mocked her, bobbling his head and smacking his gum. "_He's not even a woman_. Are you kidding me, Michelle? Look at those jugs!" Edge yelled, pointing at the fat rolls being held in by Big Daddy V's suspenders. The monstrous wrestler scowled at his opponents and cracked his knuckles as Matt Striker gave him words of encouragement.

"Well don't just stand there!" Vickie said. "Get down there and fight!"

Michelle rolled out of the ring and hid behind Michael Cole. Jamie Noble didn't notice. Instead, he jumped in front of where he thought she was and said, "I'll defend you Michelle!"

Jamie was much more brave than smart. He really tried to take on both men at once. It was a total squash. Mark Henry threw Jamie out of the ring and he landed on the announcer's table, sending Michael Cole and Coach running away. Michelle fled the scene, going back into the ring to safety after Big Daddy V joined Mark Henry on the outside.

Michelle watched in fright as Jamie Noble was splashed into the table by Big Daddy V, the table easily breaking. Kaitlyn snuck up behind Michelle and started attacking her, but she fought back. Michelle was actually hurting Kaitlyn pretty badly…until Edge decided to step in.

"NO ONE MESSES WITH HER ON MY WATCH!" he yelled as he ran in the ring with a chair he stole from the crowd. He swung to hit Michelle, but she ducked. Instead, Edge hit Kaitlyn, who had just stood up from Michelle's attacks, only to crumble back down to the ground.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Edge ordered to Henry and V, and the two monsters left Jamie Noble there and left the ring area. Michelle went over to help Jamie up with some of the doctors who had just rushed to ringside.

Edge kneeled down next to Kaitlyn and moved her hair out of her face. "Kaitlyn…are you okay?" he asked her, but she was knocked out cold. Curt and Zack went down to the ring to help him as Teddy and Vickie stayed on the ramp looking on. The Edgeheads helped Kaitlyn stand, but she couldn't keep herself up. Instead, Edge picked her up and carried her backstage as the Edgeheads yelled at Jamie and Michelle as they walked up the ramp.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I wasn't going to update this until I saw something **_**interesting**_**. I really don't feel like getting accused of plagiarism, but you all know that I don't do that stuff.**

Vickie was getting jittery backstage. She was sitting at her desk with Teddy Long standing behind her, playing with the engagement ring that Edge had given her.

"Teddy, should I be worried about what happened last week?" she asked.

"No, Mrs. Guerrero. There's nothing to be worried about. The chair shot was just a mistake and Edge was only checking to see if she was okay," Teddy assured her, even though he didn't really mean it. He knew that Kaitlyn was a stunner, and Vickie was out of her prime, to put it nicely. Any man would dump the older woman for the younger Diva.

But Teddy Long almost forgot that Vickie had the power, and Kaitlyn didn't.

"You wanted to see me, Vickie?" Kaitlyn said, coming into the room.

"I'll leave you two ladies alone," Teddy said, but Vickie stopped him.

"No, Teddy, I might need your help. Kaitlyn, how are you recovering from that chair shot from Edge last week?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Vickie, thank you. I appreciate your concern. I understand that it was an accident. I'm ready to take on any business that you have for me," Kaitlyn smiled, but lied at the same time.

"Uh, how about you just take the night off. I don't want to risk anything with you. You're a key part of Team Guerrero, and I need you healthy," Vickie said, squinting at Kaitlyn.

"Thank you, Vickie. I appreciate the time off," Kaitlyn said, keeping her smile in place.

Vickie looked up at Teddy. "Teddy, can you wheel me over to Edge? I want to talk to him."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Guerrero," Teddy agreed. He placed his hands on the handles of the wheelchair, pulled Vickie away from her desk, and wheeled her out of the room.

"You better believe you have something to worry about, you lucky hag," Kaitlyn said once she was sure she was alone.

"Who's a hag?" Zack Ryder asked as he and Curt Hawkins came in the room.

"Are you two stalking me or something?" Kaitlyn asked as she laughed. She enjoyed the company of the two Edgeheads, but it was just Vickie she hated.

"Zack is," Curt said.

"No, I'm not," Zack blushed. "Who is the hag?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Your mom," Kaitlyn said, and she pushed her way through the two of them and left the room.

"My mom isn't a hag."

"Yeah, dude, she kind of is," Curt said.

* * *

"Edge, baby, I need to talk to you," Vickie said as Teddy rolled her into the room. "Teddy, could you excuse us please?"

"Sure thing, Mrs. Guerrero," he said, leaving the room.

"What's wrong, Vickiekins?" Edge said, kneeling down at her side and taking her hands in his.

"I'm worried about Kaitlyn. I gave her the night off to make sure she fully recovers from the chair shot you gave her. Baby, is there anything between the two of you that I should worry about? Vickie asked.

"Vickiekins," Edge said, kissing her forehead, "I love you."

"That's what I thought. I love you, too, Edge. Now go out there and kick Batista's ass," Vickie said.

"Are you coming down with me?"

"No, I'll stay back here. I know you can handle yourself."

* * *

Edge was getting destroyed by Batista. Early on, the Edgeheads were banned from ringside for attempting to hit Batista in the head with Edge's World Heavyweight Championship belt.

The lights went out. The arena was pitch black.

When the lights turned back on, Batista was laid out flat. Undertaker was in the middle of the ring, standing over him. When he turned around, he was greeted with a steel chair smacking his face.

It wasn't from Edge. It was from Kaitlyn.

Undertaker fell to the ground. Edge grabbed a microphone and said, "You had the night off! What are you doing here?"

"You needed backup," she said.

The crowd screamed. Undertaker did the Dead Man Sit-up. Edge tried kicking him back down, but it was to no avail. Undertaker stood up and grabbed Kaitlyn by the throat before she could get away. Edge ran at him, but he got a big boot in the face. Undertaker chokeslammed Kaitlyn hard onto the mat. When he was done, he turned around to get Edge. Edge was too fast and Speared Undertaker instead.

Undertaker rolled out of the ring as Edge once again went to Kaitlyn's aide. He went to pick her up, but a shrill voice stopped him. "Edge, don't do it!" Vickie yelled from the stage. Miraculously, she was walking without the help of either her wheelchair or Teddy Long. "Boys, go get her," she said to the Edgeheads who were waiting backstage.

"Why not, Vickiekins?" Edge asked.

"It's not your job, Edge. I gave her the night off, but she still came out here to help you. That is insubordination, and she will be punished."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: For Y2K Copeland, who has to start her lame job today and miss RAW. If Edge is on and she misses it, we'll riot.**

**Oh hell, if Cody isn't on, I'll fucking riot.**

**Kaitlyn said this would make her day. I hope so.**

"Kaitlyn, what on earth were you thinking last week?" Vickie asked. Everyone was in their usual spots in the office of the SmackDown General Manager. Teddy was standing behind her with a bored expression on his face. Edge was sitting on the couch with one of the Edgeheads on either side of him, and Kaitlyn was once again standing in front of Vickie's desk.

"I didn't want Edge to get trashed by Undertaker, duh," Kaitlyn retorted with a bit of an attitude in her voice. "Do you want your fiancé to be decapitated on your wedding day? I don't think so. That would make for an interesting honeymoon, don't you think, Vickie?"

"Kaitlyn, this is not a laughing matter. You disobeyed my orders and I will not stand for this. You will be punished for your actions. I have thought of a suitable punishment for you and it will be—"

Kaitlyn cut her off. "Polishing your wheelchair that you don't need?"

"Well, you punishment _was_ going to put you into a singles match against Chavo Guerrero. But now…I think tonight's main event should put you, Kaitlyn, in a hardcore match," Vickie grinned.

"A hardcore match? That's not much of a punishment, Vickie," Kaitlyn laughed. She knew she could take on anyone that Vickie would put her up against in any type of match.

Kaitlyn forgot that Vickie is a conniving little bitch.

"Oh, it is quite the punishment. I haven't told you who your opponent is tonight," Vickie said, her grin becoming wider and more evil as she spoke.

"Who?"

"Edge."

"Vickiekins! I'm not going to have a match against Kaitlyn. I refuse!" Edge said, roughly standing up from the couch.

"Edge, please do me this favor," Vickie said, changing her attitude from complete bitch to sickly sweet.

"But Vickiekins, you know there's nothing that I wouldn't do for you, but this…I can't do this. Kaitlyn is my friend. Sure, I'd do it if it were, say, Torrie Wilson or Michelle McCool, but I can't do this to Kaitlyn," Edge explained, bending down next to Vickie's wheelchair and taking her hands in his.

"Edge," Vickie cried, forming fake tears in her eyes, "please."

Edge let out a deep sigh. "Fine, Vickiekins. I'll do it for you."

"Oh, hell no," Teddy Long snapped, for once putting his own opinion on the matters of Vickie Guerrero and Edge. "Vickie, Kaitlyn is a nice girl. Why do you need to put her through all of this junk? Let me tell you, if _I_ were still the General Manager of SmackDown, this match would _not_ be taking place. A nice woman like Kaitlyn does not deserve to be put in a hardcore match against any man, including Jamie Noble."

"Teddy, what is with this sudden outburst?" Edge asked.

"You know what it's about, Edge. Vickie, I'm out. You can wheel yourself around for the rest of the night," Teddy huffed before leaving the office in a distressed state.

"Hawkins, Ryder, wheel me out of here. Edge, baby, get ready for your match," Vickie said before the Edgeheads each took one handle of the wheelchair and left the room with their boss.

Edge turned to Kaitlyn. "Kaitlyn, I—"

"Don't take it too easy on me, Edge," Kaitlyn said.

Edge ran his hands through his blonde hair, nodded, and left the room. After he left, and devilish grin formed on the face of the redheaded Diva.

* * *

Edge's music hit, and he came out to the ring with his usual entourage in tow, minus Kaitlyn and Teddy. Kaitlyn was already in the ring, wielding a kendo stick. The tool was only used as a ploy. She wasn't really going to use it on Edge, but she wanted Vickie to think that she was going to put up a fair fight.

All was not fair in love and wrestling this time.

"Get her, baby," Vickie said, letting Edge get into the ring. He simply nodded at her request.

The bell rung.

Edge rolled out of the ring and grabbed a microphone. He walked up to Vickie and bent down by her wheelchair. "Vickiekins, I can't do it. I can't beat her up. She's my friend, and—"

Edge never got to finish what he was going to say because his face was greeted with a sharp slap from Vickie. She grabbed the microphone from him and said, "Edge, you can't even do this one thing for me? Well, I have just one thing to say to you." Miraculously, she stood up from her wheelchair and kneed him where a man shouldn't be kneed. "Never trust a Guerrero." Vickie took of her engagement ring and threw it at the Rated-R Superstar. "If you want that little tramp so badly, you can fucking have her. Just don't expect me to ever take you back."

Edge looked up at Vickie in shock. His gaze then turned to the Edgeheads, who just shrugged at him, but then walked over to him, taking his side. After all, they were the Edgeheads, not the Vickieheads.

Vickie's jaw dropped once she saw that she had been outnumbered. _Teddy will take my side_, she assured herself. She walked herself back up the ramp, but Kaitlyn jumped out of the ring with her kendo stick and stopped her. She smacked the General Manager in the back of the head, causing Vickie to collapse on the ramp.

Edge ran to Vickie's aid, much to the chagrin of Kaitlyn and the Edgeheads. After noticing that she was knocked out, Edge stood up and curb stomped Vickie. The assault continued until referees and paramedics pushed him away from her.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Y2K Copeland's AIM status said that she wanted to read an Edge story. Well, I never fail to deliver. Unless Cena, Batista, and Hulk are triple teaming my AIM. Now that's just not fair.**

**Kylie, I'm working on your story as well.**

"So, are you and Edge together yet?" Curt Hawkins asked Kaitlyn, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Zack Ryder was standing next to him, shuffling his feet and looking down at the ground.

"What? What makes you think I even _want_ to be with that bucktoothed Canadian?" Kaitlyn retorted, bowing her head to her hair would hide the light blush that was now forming on her cheeks.

"Oh, come on, Kaitlyn. We all heard what Vickie said last week…" Curt teased. "Right, Zack?" Curt asked, nudging Zack in the arm with his elbow.

Zack snapped out of his trance. "Oh, right…"

Kaitlyn lifted her head back up and shook the hair out of her face, making eye contact with the two boys. "Please, you boys are so pathetic sometimes. I don't even know why I bother with you anymore."

Curt started laughing. "Duh, we hang out with your boy toy."

A glint of anger shot through Kaitlyn's eyes and right to Curt's. "First of all, he is _not_ my boy toy. Second of all, I'm not even with him. I don't want to be his rebound fling right after the old hag got to him. How would that make me look? Well, it would make me look pretty damn pathetic. Besides, I can't date a New Jersey Devils fan. That's just terrible."

Zack looked hopeful. Curt cut in. "But he's Canadian!"

"I know he's Canadian, but—"

"Is there a problem with me being Canadian?" Edge asked, walking up to the group from behind Kaitlyn.

"That's our cue to go…" Curt said, having to pull the unwilling Zack Ryder along with him by the arm.

"Um…no, there's no problem with that. But there _is_ a problem with your preferred hockey team. That's not cool. That's like…Jericho without his hair. It's just…wrong," Kaitlyn shuddered.

"Psh, well at least I—"

"I hate to interrupt this little love fest, but Mrs. Guerrero wants to see you two in her office," Teddy said, approaching the two SmackDown Superstars.

Edge held out his hand to Kaitlyn. "Ready to go see the devil lady?"

Kaitlyn gladly accepted his offer. "Let's go."

* * *

"I don't know if you've forgotten, but I am _still_ the General Manager of SmackDown. What I say goes. I may have made a personal decision last week that affects everyone's personal endeavors, but that shouldn't conflict with business matters," Vickie explained. "Edge, tonight you will be in a match against Batista."

"No!" Kaitlyn interjected, her hands hitting the top of Vickie's desk. "You can't do that! Do you want a crime scene in your ring? I'm pretty sure that molestation is illegal!"

"Kaitlyn, settle down. _You_ are barred from ringside. Besides, I really couldn't care less about what happens to Edge tonight," Vickie said, now checking her cuticles and her manicured fingers.

"Barred from ringside my ass," Kaitlyn mumbled under her breath.

"If you go down to the ring, there will be more severe consequences this time," Vickie threatened.

* * *

Edge was beating the crap out of Batista. He already hit him with a steel chair when the referee was dealing with the Edgeheads. After all, Vickie never said anything about Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins being banned from ringside.

Vickie's arms were flailing as she wheeled herself down to the ring. Once she got down to the apron, she stood up from her mobility device and ran around to the timekeeper's table. She grabbed the bell and furiously rang it, ending the match.

"Vickie, what the hell?" Edge asked, his arms up in confusion.

"Edge, you are disqualified. The winner of this match is Batista," Vickie said, a look of hate burning it's way towards Edge.

"What, are you screwing him now, too?" Edge asked, seeing Batista roll out of the ring to help Vickie back to her wheelchair.

But her wheelchair wasn't where she had left it.

Kaitlyn was standing at the top of the ramp with Vickie's wheelchair. She smiled and waved at Vickie, then wheeled it off of the stage and into all of the electrical equipment.

Vickie looked shocked. How was she supposed to pretend to be injured now? Batista picked her up and carried her to the back. As they passed Kaitlyn on the stage, she said, "You will have hell to pay for this."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: For the people who are upset with Vickie Guerrero's decision at Judgment Day last night, I have this to say to you:**

**I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR VICKIE BASHING!**

**(The only acceptable Vickie bashing is the Vickie bashing that occurs in this story.)**

"I can't believe Vickie is with fucking Batista! That's not possible!" Edge mused to Kaitlyn, tossing his hands up in the air.

"Of course it's not possible, unless Vickie got a sex change. We all know that Batista only likes young men," Kaitlyn said in disbelief. Neither she nor Edge could really believe that Vickie Guerrero had just left Edge for Batista. "I'd really like to know what sort of 'hell' I have to pay, though. What is she going to do, put me in a match against Undertaker? All I'd have to do is stick a flashlight in his face and he'd go hide with Hornswoggle under the ring. I'd win by count out."

As the two wrestlers sat against the wall in the hallway, Teddy Long approached them. "Yo, T-Lo. What's going on?" Edge asked.

"I think I'm going to quit as Mrs. Guerrero's assistant," Teddy revealed.

"Do it, Teddy. Join the good side," Kaitlyn grinned up at the older man with the glasses.

"I should…But I haven't quit yet. I still have to answer to her every beckon and call. With that being said, Vickie wants the two of you in the ring to open the show. I believe she has news for you, Kaitlyn," Teddy said. He nodded at the pair of Superstars and headed back to Vickie's office, preparing himself for personal doom.

"This can't be good," Kaitlyn sighed.

"Don't worry about it. No matter what it is, I have your back," Edge said, putting a reassuring arm around his female companion.

* * *

"Vickie what's her face said that Edge and I have to be in this very ring tonight. Why? We have no idea. Whatever it is, it's probably just as stupid as her romping around with that 'roided up skeezbag," Kaitlyn said, causing Edge to double over with laughter.

She handed him the microphone and Edge decided to grace the audience with his speaking abilities. "You know, _Vickie_, I'm the best that you'll ever have. Doesn't it suck to know that you will never see this beautiful face next to you ever again? Doesn't is just reek with suckitude that you will never run your fingers through this amazing Canadian mane of hair ever again? Doesn't it suck that—"

Whatever else was going to suck, the crowd never found out. Batista's entrance theme cut Edge off and he wheeled Vickie out onto the stage.

Vickie was cackling with evil maniacal laughter as she held the microphone up to her mouth. "You two are just _adorable_. I hope you know that. It's just a shame that you won't be so adorable after my man," Vickie said, rubbing her hand down Batista's arm, "defaces your pretty face, Kaitlyn."

"What are you talking about?!" Edge gasped, standing on the bottom rope and leaning over the top, facing Vickie. "She can't fight Batista!"

"It was fine when everyone else had to fight Batista," Vickie sneered. "Edge, I don't care if you're ringside or not, but if you _dare_ interfere…You will never have another shot at the World Heavyweight Championship as long as I'm the General Manager of SmackDown!"

"Earth to Vickie! Edge _is_ the World Heavyweight Champion!" Kaitlyn pointed out, and Edge showed off the shiny belt that was slung over his shoulder.

"Excuse me for having a mental slip. Being next to Batista does that to me," Vickie grinned. "That match is in the main event. Any questions?"

"Yeah, actually, I do have one," Kaitlyn said. "When you and Batista do it, does he call you Vickiekins or Victor?"

"ENOUGH!"

* * *

"I can't believe you're making me do this…" Kaitlyn sighed, leaning on Edge's shoulder.

"I'm not making you do anything," Edge said. "But if you don't want Batista to hurt you, you have to do this."

"I don't think he'll even touch me. He likes dudes. You're more at risk than I am," Kaitlyn said. "And I feel like you're whoring me out like you did to Lita, and—"

"Yeah, about that…I'm not whoring you out. I promise. Now, go ahead and go with the plan. It will make tonight much easier. Look, there he goes."

Kaitlyn stood up and straightened out her clothes. "Um, Jamie? Can I talk to you for a second?"

* * *

Batista stood next to Vickie's wheelchair in the ring, waiting for Kaitlyn and Edge to arrive. Her music played and she walked out with Edge and Jamie Noble.

"Hold on for one second!" Vickie shrieked. "Jamie Noble is _not_ a part of this match!"

"You're right, Vickiekins, he isn't," Kaitlyn said. "But if you can have backup, so can I."

Batista and the referee helped Vickie out of the ring and then the match started. Right away, Jamie Noble jumped in the ring and grabbed Batista. Jamie quickly rolled out of the ring and ran away. Batista ran and chased Jamie up the ramp and backstage. The referee counted to ten and Kaitlyn won by count out.

As Edge joined Kaitlyn in the ring, Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins rushed down to the ring. Each of them took a handle of Vickie's wheelchair and pushed her away backstage.

"What are they doing?" Kaitlyn asked, half in shock and half laughing.

"This is a little plan I concocted on my own," Edge grinned.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"The Edgeheads have just kidnapped Vickie Guerrero."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Holy crap, I'm overdue on this.**

"Settle down, it's not as bad as you think," Edge chuckled.

"Not as bad as I think? _Not as bad as I think? _You kidnapped our _boss_ and you think that nothing bad is going to happen?" Kaitlyn shrieked as she paced around the room. "You've had some pretty stupid ideas before, but this really tops it all off."

Edge leaned back in the metal folding chair and smiled, lazily putting his hands behind his head. "The Rated R Superstar _never_ has stupid ideas."

"Really?" Kaitlyn spazzed. "Is that what you think? Hm, let's see…You dated the General Manager of SmackDown and got dumped by that old hag. Yeah, that's pretty stupid. You've joined forces with two boys who are lucky they look like you, only to have them do your bidding and _they're_ the ones that get hurt, especially Zack. Don't you feel bad for them at all?"

Edge shrugged. "Sometimes, but if they want to make it in the WWE, they've aligned themselves with the right person."

"But still, aren't you worried?" Kaitlyn asked, kneeling next to Edge. "What if Vickie strips you of your title? Then what are you going to do? If you bother her even a little bit, she'll not only strip you of the title, but she'll deny you any shot at it ever again."

"Vickie talks a big game, Kaitlyn, but her bark is worse than her bite. Sure, she'll say that stuff, but I know she won't dare do anything unless that man beast is with her," Edge explained.

Kaitlyn let out a heavy, worried sigh.

"Come on," Edge said, taking her hand and pulling her up as he stood up. "Let's go see how ol' Vickiekins is doing."

"Do I have to?" Kaitlyn whined.

"No, you don't, but I'm making you."

* * *

When Edge and Kaitlyn arrived at the room where Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins were holding Vickie hostage, they found Vickie gagged and tied to a chair with a video camera in front of her.

"What the hell are you two freaks doing?" Kaitlyn asked, rushing to untie the General Manager of SmackDown.

"MmmhmmmEEEEEEEEEEEEEmmmnnnhhhennnnememmmbbb!" Vickie mumbled through the gag, attempting to wriggle herself free of her makeshift shackles.

"Whoa, Kaitlyn! What are you doing?" Curt yelled, running to Vickie's prison and pulling Kaitlyn away.

"You can't just keep her here like this!" Kaitlyn screamed. "We might hate her, but she's still a human being. This is unjust and just wrong!"

"So, what she did to Edge was okay?" Curt argued back.

"I didn't say that, Curt," Kaitlyn said, sending a glare his way. "Can I at least take the rag out of her mouth?"

"I wouldn't suggest it," Curt sighed, but Kaitlyn didn't listen.

"Here you go, Vickie," Kaitlyn gently said, carefully taking the gag out of Vickie's mouth.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Vickie screamed. The entire population of the room covered their ears. "EXCUSE ME! KINDLY UNBIND ME FROM THESE ROPES NOW!"

Curt shied away from the group as he laughed hysterically. "Yeah, right, Vickiekins."

"If you do not untie me, Edge will be banished from SmackDown! Just wait until Batista hears about this!"

"What is he going to do? Go on roid rage? Again?" Edge suggested.

"You're one to talk, you caveman."

"Vickie, if I remember correctly, you used to love this caveman face. But let me just say, going from me to Batista is like a huge step down. That's like going from Brad Pitt to Hornswoggle, if you know what I'm saying. Besides, how is he going to know where you are? It's not like we're going to tell him."

"I'll be he can hear me scream! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTT—"

Curt quickly snatched the rag from Kaitlyn's grasp and shoved it back in Vickie's mouth where it belonged. "Good god, shut up, you hag."


End file.
